On December 14th, I ordered 3 calendars from your Online Photo Center.   When they still hadn’t arrived by the 30th, I got online to see where they had been held up.  I found my order information online, but there was no tracking number.

Today I called your “customer service” line.  I spoke to a woman who repeatedly put me on hold, then offered to send an e-mail to the Orders Department since apparently my calendars were never printed, let alone shipped.  After 40 minutes of nonsense and mostly listening to music that made me want to shove Philips screwdrivers into my ears, this charming woman told me that she had been authorized to transcend her usual stunning skill set (yawning, pausing for emphasis, and sending spam to the Orders Department) and offer me a refund.

When I gave Costco Photo Center my credit card information and authorized a payment of $39.82, I entered a contract with you.  You get my hard-earned dollars, and I get lovely gifts for 3 people on my list.  For the last 19 days you have had my money.  Apparently, you do not intend to provide the product I ordered.  There is a name for people who make contracts, accept payment, and then fail to honor the contract.   These people are called THIEVES.

If you fail to keep your end of our bargain, it should not be incumbent upon me to deal with your employees, all of whom appear to be members of No Will to Live Anonymous, for 40 minutes to get my $39.82 back.

I have given up all hope of being compensated for my time and trouble, the disappointment of not having gifts to give my family on Christmas, and the shipping I will now have to pay to send gifts to people who were in my house for over a week at Christmas.  I want my money back and I will not call your Torture Center again.  I have attached my receipt.  If this is not sufficient, I’m happy to follow up with a police report.

Please be advised that I will not be renewing my membership.  You will never see another penny from me.  I will be sure to visit your store at every possible opportunity for the remainder of my current membership, however.  I promise to bring all 6 of my kids during nap time, and let the 3 big kids (10, 9 and 7) push their own carts.  We’ll use your bathroom, flush several times each, wash our hands for a good 15 minutes, use a few dozen paper towels per kid, and let the water fountain run while the kids sing “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall,” to the bitter end.  I sincerely hope to see you there!


Updated 5/8/14

Oops, I meant to update this months ago.  About a minute after I posted this on Costco’s FB page, I got a phone call.  They overnighted the calendars AND refunded my money.  Way to go Costco!!  I still wish they had treated me like a human being on the phone.  I would have been more than happy to talk to someone who was polite and competent and could get me the order in a day or two.  A little courtesy is worth more than a refund.