Moms who know me have surely heard me say, “lower your standards.” It’s good advice, that’s why I give it. It’s the only way to stay sane with kids in the house. Throw away the magazines and get real. Cute and lovable as they are, kids are filthy little animals, and you can expect your house to look more like an episode of Cops than anything in Martha Stewart Living if you’re serious about raising them.

I’m writing this post to let you know that I don’t just say lower your standards. I do it, every day. Today I did it spectacularly. I went to the store with all the kids. I was in sweats and a t-shirt, all the kids had last night’s hairdo’s, Baby was in a boy’s sleeper, Sister had on one knee sock and one bobby sock *with sandals* Brother was wearing snow boots with shorts and a t-shirt and no underwear (ask me how everyone in the store knows he went commando this morning) and my only son, the apple of my eye, licked a $12 block of cheese in the refrigerated aisle and I didn’t buy it.

You’re Welcome.

I don’t smoke, drink or wear skanky Barbie clothes, but this is otherwise accurate.